An abuser can seek dominance over their partner using verbal assault with criticism, intimidation, bullying and belittling words. They can work to isolate that person from their friends and family to gain control over their lives.

An abuser can isolate their partner by removing any money from them, making them totally dependent on this abuser for their basic needs. They can also use debt for control. It’s hard to go far with empty pockets.

So how prevalent is abuse between partners?

• 33% of women have been abused by a romantic partner
• 33% of adolescents have been abused by a dating partner
• 80% of homeless women with children have experienced domestic violence

But there are generational aspects of abuse. Children in abusive homes witness it, listen to it happening, and may also be victims of the abuse.

• Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partner or children when they become adults than boys spared that scene.
• Half of the girls who witness domestic violence in the home will become victims of abuse themselves.

Hitting or strangling a person – That’s not love

Forcing someone to do something they don’t want to – That’s not love

Blocking a door or holding someone down so they can’t leave – That’s not love

Making someone feel worthless with words – That’s not love

Threatening to hurt or kill someone – That’s not love

Having the attitude that “if I can’t have you no one can” – That’s not love

And remember, a person who only hurts you when they’re drunk is still an abuser. Alcohol is not swinging that fist.

Hope Alliance is here always to help you, save you, protect you. Reach out to the 24-hour Crisis Hotline – 1-800-460-7233.

And for the rest of us – speak up, speak out. Make your neighbors, your friends, your work and school peers and family members aware of the high occurrence of domestic violence and the great costs to people, businesses and our country. Home is not the place to be fearful.

There is help for the abuser and the victims.

And it starts in Williamson County with Hope Alliance.

Thank you for your time.  Run your best – overcome your side pain and I’ll see you at the finish line.